Birthdays gone wrong

My family went through a phase where we were really into using funny candles on birthdays. You know, the ones with multi-coloured flames or that play music when you light them up. I loved those candles, they added some flair to your everyday, average birthday cake. Recently, my uncle reminded me why we stopped using them.

Situation 1: The Best of Intentions

One year for my birthday, my grandma found a trick candle that wouldn't go out. Excited to have a laugh at my expense, she snuck one onto my birthday cake. After it was presented to me with a rousing chorus of Happy Birthday, she watched in glee as I skillfully blew out every candle with one breath. As I sat up, feeling smug about my achievement, one of the candles sputtered and came back to life. No problem, I simply bent over and blew it out a second time. Again, it sputtered back to life. At this point most of my family members had caught on to what my grandma had done and were snickering quietly. Except my uncle. Seeing that I was struggling, he licked his fingers, reached over, and put the candle out for me. The uproar afterwards was impressive, and my uncle was in the doghouse for the rest of the afternoon for ruining my grandma's fun.

Situation 2: The Zombie Candle

It was my younger brother's birthday. My mom found a candle that, when you lit it, would play Happy Birthday. After much eye-rolling and groaning when she got it going, my brother was eager to make it stop so he blew it out. The music kept playing. Then he tried the lick-and-snuff manoeuvre. The music kept playing. Next, he actually removed the candle from the base. The music kept playing. Houston, we have a problem.

At this point we were at a loss. How could we make it stop? As much as it was amusing at first, the tinny, overly-cheerful music was starting to get on our nerves. Finally we decided to submerge it in water and short out it electrical bits. I kid you not, the base not only continued playing but changed its tune and started playing This Old Man. We stood there, baffled, and started considering the possibility that this candle base may be haunted. We tried tons of different ways to kill it, I think we even found a battery in it and removed it, and nothing worked. Eventually we buried it in a bag of garbage and left the room to wait it out. It took hours for it to finally give up the ghost.

I believe that was the last time we used a funny candle. Somehow I'm not surprised.